in addition to a wonderful, loving, forgiving God, i also owe my life to my kids. at a time when i was nothing, i realized that i was everything to them. and that is enough to keep me going.

[of course, i'm still trying to find that other half, too....all in time]

<3 &

i think we shared a similar pain of being imprinted too young with false love, in the guise of attention & stimulation…completely void of love in every way [my dad was also a partier, and i was the joy toy for his friends' enjoyment]. “going along for the ride” was a means of survival, but it became an unnaturally naturalized identity; inside, longing to just be loved – or dammit, just to be heard. and every tiny glimpse of what happiness seemed to be only deepened the longing and intensified the pain of what wasn’t.

i don’t know enough about anthony’s personal journey, but for me, a time came when my heart could no longer be ignored…i cried out, i found a loving God willing to take me in with promises of a new life…and so it was. i’ve struggled to forgive my dad, too. so i understand the need in order to feel complete. and tho i don’t wish my past on any child, ever, i’ll never regret my pain, confusion & loneliness…

’tis so much better to have those holes filled with the love of a child than a whole, unharmed heart merely glazed on the surface [hehe...just thought of this...scar tissue is larger than unscarred tissue].

thank you anthony for “understanding” me … for all it’s worth, i understand you too.
<3